Episode the Third: Hooray! I'm Not Dead Yet

Hello readers in cyberspace, real space, and outer space and welcome to another installation of John's Conspiracy Theories. As you can tell the predictions surrounding my untimely demise and the publication of the second issue of John's Conspiracy Theories. This proves that the Shadow is more clever than one is to hope. Obviously my declaration that I would be killed prevented them from acting and raising suspision. It's that, or I could be the Shadow pretending to be John only to convince you that the Shadow doesn't exist by convincing you it does and that this blog is nothing but the ramblings of a lunatic. But readers you have my word that I am in fact the real John, or Millsap whichever you prefer, and that these ramblings are much more than a crazy's journal. So in celebration of my lack of demise today I but pose to you my faithful readers to the topic of tomorrow's blog, but that is yet to come. I apologize ahead of time for the little investment into today's topic, but as request by Captain X today's topic shall be one of great interest.

And today's topic is...Nickelback; How Can Such A Band Be So Popular and Their Involvement With The Shadow.

For years musicians and Canadians, especially those from the Lower Mainland region of British Columbia, have been ashamed by the production of Nickelback. Originally rendering from some place in Alberta, Nickelback found it's way to the Lower Mainland where it gained much popularity in the local music scene. Successfully winning the Fox Seeds competition Nickelback skyrocketed up the charts and continue to have thousands of fans. The question that is posed here is, "how can such a horrible atrocity to music actually have a fanbase?"

Well it's elementary my dear readers. Nickelback was one of the first bands to ever perfect the use of subliminal mind messaging. What other explination can there be? Only through the use of hypnosis could such a terrible band actually be liked. Despite being the first band to use hypnosis, Nickelback was not the first group of people to develop a perfected technique. For years prior to the existance of Nickelback, television programming in many nations was used to convince people to fight for their nation or buy the latest capitalist item of pleasure. So how did Nickelback come across this ability you ask. Well I'll tell you. Nickelback was always horrible, they could never catch a break so they had to invest in sone form of bettering themselves. Rather than insuring their success through lessons, Nickelback came across the Shadow in attempts to find a producer willing to produce them. The Shadow had perfected subliminal messaging by this point but needed to find a way to broadcast it widely. Big Brother figured that a test needed to be run to see the effectiveness of their newly developped technique. Nickelback became the soul behind this test. Only by suffusing their horrible music with hypnotic undertones could Nickelback have any guarentee of success. Soon Chad Kruger became obsessed with his new found glory. Kruger became an active member of a subheading within the Shadow know as the subordinates. The subordinates are the lackies of the Shadow, carrying out the vile acts of our secret government undetected. Unfortunately for the Shadow, the mind control program proved flawed, and soon people began to realize their works were nothing but noise claiming to be music. This put the Shadow in danger of being discovered, so it quickly detatched from Nickelback, going through its record label and Hollywood records to brainwash the populous. Why else do you think you haven't heard a mediocre Nickelback song in the last seven years? Occasionally The Shadow will rely on Chad to try new experimental techniques but with little success. Hand in hand The Shadow and Nickelback have penetrated the music scene, trying to influence the minds of all.

Well fellow conspirators, there you have it. Nickelback has played its part in the Shadow, and will continue to do so. How will you prevent yourself from being corrupted by the mind controlling pop music scene?

Now as promised you get to decide upon tomorrow's topic. Shall we discuss Standardized Testing; What Good Does It Really Do?, H1N1 Continuation; Alien Hybrids?, or Women; What Are They Really and Where Did They Come From? The choice is your's readers. What would you like to discuss? Comment your choice as well as your input into today's topic below. And remember, A man who does not think for himself is not a man.

Millsap Out